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The project

legend0007

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I love sex – I’m not sure whether I’m an addict, or even what defines addiction.

I need to play with my toy at least three or four times a day, that seems quite high but not a mesmeric amount. I guess we’re all addicted to that feeling right? I also require the touch of another man, his breath, his appreciation is intoxifying. I ache for it every day. Pleasing guys is what I sometimes think I’m on this earth for.

I also like writing about it, so it’s a turn-on for me to document the next few months changes in my life – as time runs out.

Time is running out so fast! I’ve been here at university for nearly four years. Almost forty-five months as of today. 1362 days. Ten housemates, four proper boyfriends, one family break-up, two spells in hospital, one married couple, three jobs, six threesomes, one award for my uni work, unknown alcohol and drugs, five half-marathons, an uncomfortable amount of sexual partners and zero gang-bangs.

Zero.

I submitted to the life of a bottom long ago; I had been wrestling with my sexuality for years before coming here, then with my preferences. I can remember it being an easier transition to think of myself as a top and that was the way of things with my first boyfriend, but I was broken into my true nature hard and have never looked back since. Up until now.

My body is changing. I always had a baby-face, and although I’m quite fit, my comparatively slight physique and short stature, my hair, my smooth skin, my androgynous look has tended to attract more masculine guys wanting to top me. But now I can see myself filling out more, there is more hair sprouting than is normal for me on my body, while that on my head is discernibly thinner even at my age of twenty-three.

As I start to look less like a twink, I’m attracting more bottoms than I did before. I have been a complete slut on dating apps in my time – I continue to use them, and the reaction is changing more and more from guys wanting my ass, to those needing my meat.

And I feel my own preferences swinging too – maybe it is just a phase, but I’m feeling more and more the urge to breed; as I write there is a lad walking around who probably still has my seed in him, put there only hours ago in two magical doses, the feel of him squirming, both struggling with and enjoying the feel of me inside him, is fresh in my mind, my bed still messy with his DNA. It was almost as good as being on the receiving end myself.

Time is running out.

I need to be gang-banged while I still can. I really thought this would have been achieved by now – all this time being available for use by any number of guys. I have come close a few times. My second boyfriend used to let two of his friends use me occasionally, and threatened to have them all round, but it was all big talk. My last boyfriend and I arranged group-sex – we met with three other guys and it was supposed to happen, but when the five of us eventually got together only two of them did anything substantial to me. So disappointing.

So that is my project: I am going to be fucked by four or more guys at the same time, with me at the center of attention, before I leave uni in July. That is what would satisfy me as having been gang-banged.

I know I could achieve this tomorrow if I wanted. I could easily message lots of unknowns on my dating apps, send a few pictures and have them drive here from all over England. But I’m not completely reckless; I’m paranoid of catching anything too bad, and don’t want people I don’t know in my house – other people live here too.

I have started looking, and will update on my progress. I’m currently doing things with three lads who are under consideration – these encounters will form part of these diary entries. Unfortunately I think two of them are bottoms, but they might be persuaded to top me. Getting them together will be the difficult part.

I also have lots of guys from my past that I’ll explore whether they could get involved. I’ll talk about my dream line-up I’m sure. Again, getting them together could be problematic.
 
Thank you Max. Wednesday is one of my two work days but I do sneak peak the forum on my phone at work. I saw what you wrote and broke out in a big smile. I just got home and read your entire post. I will comment further later but I wanted to thank you for your writing. Much more later……. :drool:
 
Thank you Max. Wednesday is one of my two work days but I do sneak peak the forum on my phone at work. I saw what you wrote and broke out in a big smile. I just got home and read your entire post. I will comment further later but I wanted to thank you for your writing. Much more later……. :drool:
kewl - it's a real project, any advice welcome as i've struggled to get this done for ages.
 
I love your introspective honesty with us here on the forum, Max. To us older guys you still seem very young, but I can understand how you feel after four years at university. I know I felt very different as a senior than I did as a Freshmen. And yes, obviously your body changes as you go from boyhood into young manhood. And for your sexuality to evolve from strictly bottom to more of a top or versatile is also growth.

I love your forum writings and on your blog. I encourage you to keep sharing. It’s fun for me to read and I gather therapeutic for you to write. Good luck on getting gang banged, (safely, lol) before leaving Uni. :001_tt2:
 
I love your introspective honesty with us here on the forum, Max. To us older guys you still seem very young, but I can understand how you feel after four years at university. I know I felt very different as a senior than I did as a Freshmen. And yes, obviously your body changes as you go from boyhood into young manhood. And for your sexuality to evolve from strictly bottom to more of a top or versatile is also growth.

I love your forum writings and on your blog. I encourage you to keep sharing. It’s fun for me to read and I gather therapeutic for you to write. Good luck on getting gang banged, (safely, lol) before leaving Uni. :001_tt2:
I'll need it how its goin haha. I have to keep writing this time. 2 months left here then fuck knows where i'm goin
 
I'll need it how its goin haha. I have to keep writing this time. 2 months left here then fuck knows where i'm goin
Definitely a scary time Max. I remember thinking that all through elementary school to high school to college there was a clear path in life. After college, reality sets in. :001_smile: Good luck with your love and sex life and your career path as well. But I have faith in you.
 
Definitely a scary time Max. I remember thinking that all through elementary school to high school to college there was a clear path in life. After college, reality sets in. :001_smile: Good luck with your love and sex life and your career path as well. But I have faith in you.
It should'nt be scary though should it. I'm gonna lose all my freedom to be who I've become if i go home - i know I've not exactly become a paragon of virtue, but it's what I am. "My dark heart." That's how they refer to my "perversions." The rental prices here are mental. Ex has offered me a flat and a job but it's totes charity, and I'll end up as his secret again.

Edit - another exaggerated (and grammatically incorrect - have sorted that) post. I'm absolutely fine I don't mean to moan.
 
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