Ambivalent
BSB Addict
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2009
- Posts
- 1,811
- Reaction score
- 2
Hey, guys,
After I finished posting all my love-letters to JASON (whom I love so much): I thought I was all done posting. (Because, for me, every good Broke Straight Boys day ends with Jason!!!
When I went back to see if my posts went through, I saw all sorts of raging controversies about whether model "X", or "Y", might be "straight", or "gay", and whether it matters, or not. Because I am incorrigibly loquacious, before I log off the Broke Straight Boys forum for the day - I will give you my thoughts, on the subject.
First, I totally get that this site is called "Broke Straight Boys", for a reason. There are a lot of gay guys out there (some of whom "look" or "act" in stereotypically "gay" ways, and many who do not): who ABSOLUTELY PREFER straight guys, as objects of erotic fantasy. (Some gay guys have very involved fantasies about "turning" straight guys, and while I don't really approve of that, I get that, also.)
The REASON gay guys love straight guys is simple. As gay kids, growing up, we are INEVITABLY attracted to other boys and, later men, who are MOSTLY straight. (The old axiom that 10 per cent of the population is gay is WILDLY overstated - more recent, careful, studies, put the figure at four to five per cent of the population, at MOST.) MOST of the guys we had crushes on - in school, on the hockey team, on the football team (!), or in the junior church choir (!!!) - well, they were mostly straight.
And - hey - because they were MEN, and beautiful, and at least SOME of them were NICE - we liked EVERYTHING about them! We liked the way they walked and talked and acted, and sometimes, that involved (*blushing*) straight stereotypes, too. And there's nothing wrong with that, I think: it's just natural!
Where I think this turns negative (and where it almost prompts me to shed a tear, actually) is when members start imputing things about a model's sexual NATURE, about or directly TO a model, based on what he has or has not done, in a video. And INSISTING that that characterization is TRUE. I think this is wrong; potentially hurtful; and something that may prompt some models we like and care for, to stop wanting to share, with us. . . .
Let's turn it all around, for a minute. I don't look, or act, in a manner that people consider stereotypically "gay". (Six VERY nice straight girls have offered to marry me, over the years, and the women at work are ALWAYS trying to set me up with SOME nice girl. *BTW, I am totally 'out' to family and friends, and will be at work also, if this thing with Mr. K. works out - fortunately there is no prejudice in my workplace: I am just a shy and quiet person - except, obviously, in PRINT - and don't believe in making a big deal about something which is not YET a big deal.)
But, let's suppose I were 21 again, and good-looking (which, I know, are two suppositions which require GIANT suspension of DISBELIEF) - and I had GIANT student-loans to pay off, and someone came along and said to me, "Hey, 'A' - we'll pay you X dollars to lick a pussy: or even f*** a girl." I wouldn't have done it THEN, because it was a different time, and we were all much more inhibited (at least, in my part of the world): but, if I were 21 right now, and I were in that kind of a financial crunch, I just might do it ~ who knows???
And who knows? If I had been captured on video, circa 1985, eating pussy or f***ing a girl (and there were six girls at least, who wanted me to do it - though not on video - LOL!!!) I might have even smiled and laughed and made you all believe I LOVED IT! Because, even though I am a 6.6 on the Kinsey Scale (I have never kissed a girl, never DATED a girl, and turned down ALL those girls who wanted to date ME, because I knew it would be dishonest) - sex IS a beautiful thing. It is joyful, and pleasurable, and comforting, in the most elementary HUMAN way. And, it is always a joy to give another human being pleasure, and comfort: even though our society has put severe restrictions upon doing this sexually. *There are good things, and bad things, about those restrictions, but that is another subject, entirely.*
However, the point is - anyone seeing that notional video of "Ambivalent", happily pleasing some pretty girl, and SMILING afterward, MIGHT HAVE SAID - "OMG - there is NO WAY that guy could POSSIBLY be GAY - did you see what he JUST DID, with that GIRL??? He is a closet straight guy!!!
But, that would have been a ridiculous thing, to say. Because, while I know that, in some lifetime, that sort of thing could have happened, to me. . . my real erotic, romantic, and EMOTIONAL connections (of that kind) have always been, EXCLUSIVELY, to other MEN. THAT is my centre, and my core, and who I am. And I am sure that the converse is true, for many of OUR favourite models.
PLEASE just THINK about this, all you casual and callous commentators, on our models' "true" sexual orientation. Just as WE are who we are, and have had to take the blows for it (the first time I went to a gay club, in the '80's, I was turned back from the door, because the doorman said: "YOU don't look gay, to me: I think you're a COP!"): our models are who they are, also. I hope you will all love them for WHO they are, and just give them that freedom. When I was young, I was not recognized for who I was. . . Now, you just imagine, if you were not recognized or cared-for, for who you are, or worse still, if someone tried to "turn you", into something or someone YOU are not??? It would HURT.
Personally, unlike many of the members who come here explicitly for the Broke Straight promise: I have no investment in the guys being straight, at all - much less in their "turning". I do not care if they are straight, gay, bisexual, bicurious, asexual, or prefer to have sex solely with PUMPKINS. I come here solely because they are beautiful, and are generous enough to share their beauty with us. Sure, some of them may use the site as an opportunity to search, and explore: just as I seem to recall that I was told Shane, from BSB1, is now happy and with a male partner. (And sorry, Shane, if I have misremembered, or gotten this wrong.)
But, if that is true: #1 - Would any of you BLAME a guy for taking this chance to explore? And, #2 - Does ANY of us think that MOST of the guys fit this pattern? Because, I could almost guarantee you, that most of them, do not. (It is hilarious, and perverse, to me, that on most of the European sites I have been a member of, legions of straight models are represented as being GAY, to gin up the clientele - and on most of the American sites I have been a member of, a significant number of gay models are represented as STRAIGHT: for just the same reason ;-)
(I think there is a significant difference in the European and the American ethos, in this regard - European gay guys seem very comfortable with homosexuality as an accomplished fact: and want to DATE the models, immediately! Whereas American guys, remembering their repressed youth, imagine that ANY goodlooking guy is BOUND to be straight from the beginning, and so need to go through extended torture-narratives of his being initially straight, and subsequently converted. As a Canadian, I just sort of sit in the middle, and say, "Hmmmm???")
The fact is, guys - about 94 percent of your favourite models are straight, on ANY site, whatever it claims: and they are there to pay the bills. They may suck, f***, or do a multitude of other things I am too shy to mention - - - but, at the end of the day, they're going home to SALLY or SHIRLEY - not US. About 6 or 7 per cent of them are gay, even though many of them are not always the ones we THINK are gay: often, they are the ones we never GUESSED, were gay. These are facts, that, as viewers of gay erotica, we just ought to come to GRIPS with.
Finally, this is my message: please, please, just let's be nice, and decent, to ALL of THEM. Yeah, most of them are straight, and some of them are gay, but they are all doing a really tough thing, sharing with us, here. Being a model on an erotic site is a tough decision, to say the least, and all of these guys are (at the least) in a FINANCIAL pinch. Sure, some of them are straight, and some of them are gay, obviously. But here is my little cri de coeur. . . .
JUST SUPPOSE there is a kid who IS really gay, and is struggling with it, and signs on with a site like Broke Straight Boys to explore, and figure things out. Does anyone really think he is really HELPED, when a legion of ancient gay men sign on to the board and say, "There is NO WAY he can be straight - because he did X! And Y!" Comments like that will only drive a boy like that DEEPER into the closet, and make him more miserable, than the day he arrived :-(((
AND, WHAT ABOUT the MAJORITY? The TRULY straight boys who have signed on with Broke Straight Boys, because they are truly financially strapped, and need a way to pay the bills? When THEY hear a legion of ancient gay men say, "There is NO WAY he can be straight - because he did X! And Y!": he is just going to want to quit, immediately: because, he is going to think, "I do not need this kind of stress, in my life." Furthermore, he is going to come away from this experience believing that all gay men are assholes ~ which I know we are not, but, reading some comments (far less on this board, than on others) it sure seems so, sometimes.
So, my sincere and impassioned plea, is this. Let's be KIND to the models, and treat them as WE wanted to be treated when WE were 21. Let's be good and supportive friends, and REFRAIN from speculating on their sexual preferences, let alone IMPUTING sexual preferences which they have denied to be theirs. That kind of jackassery is the perfect formula for driving models AWAY - not to mention, losing good friends :-(((
Of course, if a model shares, on here, that he is gay or bisexual, I know we would ALL rise to the challenge of supporting him. But. . . I should ALSO hope that, if I model says, on here, that he is so sad because his girlfriend has just left him - or so JOYFUL because his girlfriend has just told him she LOVES him: we would offer care, concern, or rejoicing with HIM, TOO, just as the occasion warrants.
Because, that is just what friends DO - isn't it??? For just about all MY life, gay people have been struggling to be accepted as who we are, without someone trying to change us - speculating about us, JUDGING us, or trying to CHANGE us. Now that things are FINALLY getting better, I think we owe our STRAIGHT friends (including the models we love) the same respect, and care.
Love,
"A" XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
P.S. The anthem, "I am what I am", is not just for gay boys - it is for straight boys, and straight women, and lesbians, and EVERYONE, to cherish, too. We should all love each other: just for being who we ARE. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&NR=1&v=KW-AxyBQ1kA
After I finished posting all my love-letters to JASON (whom I love so much): I thought I was all done posting. (Because, for me, every good Broke Straight Boys day ends with Jason!!!
When I went back to see if my posts went through, I saw all sorts of raging controversies about whether model "X", or "Y", might be "straight", or "gay", and whether it matters, or not. Because I am incorrigibly loquacious, before I log off the Broke Straight Boys forum for the day - I will give you my thoughts, on the subject.
First, I totally get that this site is called "Broke Straight Boys", for a reason. There are a lot of gay guys out there (some of whom "look" or "act" in stereotypically "gay" ways, and many who do not): who ABSOLUTELY PREFER straight guys, as objects of erotic fantasy. (Some gay guys have very involved fantasies about "turning" straight guys, and while I don't really approve of that, I get that, also.)
The REASON gay guys love straight guys is simple. As gay kids, growing up, we are INEVITABLY attracted to other boys and, later men, who are MOSTLY straight. (The old axiom that 10 per cent of the population is gay is WILDLY overstated - more recent, careful, studies, put the figure at four to five per cent of the population, at MOST.) MOST of the guys we had crushes on - in school, on the hockey team, on the football team (!), or in the junior church choir (!!!) - well, they were mostly straight.
And - hey - because they were MEN, and beautiful, and at least SOME of them were NICE - we liked EVERYTHING about them! We liked the way they walked and talked and acted, and sometimes, that involved (*blushing*) straight stereotypes, too. And there's nothing wrong with that, I think: it's just natural!
Where I think this turns negative (and where it almost prompts me to shed a tear, actually) is when members start imputing things about a model's sexual NATURE, about or directly TO a model, based on what he has or has not done, in a video. And INSISTING that that characterization is TRUE. I think this is wrong; potentially hurtful; and something that may prompt some models we like and care for, to stop wanting to share, with us. . . .
Let's turn it all around, for a minute. I don't look, or act, in a manner that people consider stereotypically "gay". (Six VERY nice straight girls have offered to marry me, over the years, and the women at work are ALWAYS trying to set me up with SOME nice girl. *BTW, I am totally 'out' to family and friends, and will be at work also, if this thing with Mr. K. works out - fortunately there is no prejudice in my workplace: I am just a shy and quiet person - except, obviously, in PRINT - and don't believe in making a big deal about something which is not YET a big deal.)
But, let's suppose I were 21 again, and good-looking (which, I know, are two suppositions which require GIANT suspension of DISBELIEF) - and I had GIANT student-loans to pay off, and someone came along and said to me, "Hey, 'A' - we'll pay you X dollars to lick a pussy: or even f*** a girl." I wouldn't have done it THEN, because it was a different time, and we were all much more inhibited (at least, in my part of the world): but, if I were 21 right now, and I were in that kind of a financial crunch, I just might do it ~ who knows???
And who knows? If I had been captured on video, circa 1985, eating pussy or f***ing a girl (and there were six girls at least, who wanted me to do it - though not on video - LOL!!!) I might have even smiled and laughed and made you all believe I LOVED IT! Because, even though I am a 6.6 on the Kinsey Scale (I have never kissed a girl, never DATED a girl, and turned down ALL those girls who wanted to date ME, because I knew it would be dishonest) - sex IS a beautiful thing. It is joyful, and pleasurable, and comforting, in the most elementary HUMAN way. And, it is always a joy to give another human being pleasure, and comfort: even though our society has put severe restrictions upon doing this sexually. *There are good things, and bad things, about those restrictions, but that is another subject, entirely.*
However, the point is - anyone seeing that notional video of "Ambivalent", happily pleasing some pretty girl, and SMILING afterward, MIGHT HAVE SAID - "OMG - there is NO WAY that guy could POSSIBLY be GAY - did you see what he JUST DID, with that GIRL??? He is a closet straight guy!!!
But, that would have been a ridiculous thing, to say. Because, while I know that, in some lifetime, that sort of thing could have happened, to me. . . my real erotic, romantic, and EMOTIONAL connections (of that kind) have always been, EXCLUSIVELY, to other MEN. THAT is my centre, and my core, and who I am. And I am sure that the converse is true, for many of OUR favourite models.
PLEASE just THINK about this, all you casual and callous commentators, on our models' "true" sexual orientation. Just as WE are who we are, and have had to take the blows for it (the first time I went to a gay club, in the '80's, I was turned back from the door, because the doorman said: "YOU don't look gay, to me: I think you're a COP!"): our models are who they are, also. I hope you will all love them for WHO they are, and just give them that freedom. When I was young, I was not recognized for who I was. . . Now, you just imagine, if you were not recognized or cared-for, for who you are, or worse still, if someone tried to "turn you", into something or someone YOU are not??? It would HURT.
Personally, unlike many of the members who come here explicitly for the Broke Straight promise: I have no investment in the guys being straight, at all - much less in their "turning". I do not care if they are straight, gay, bisexual, bicurious, asexual, or prefer to have sex solely with PUMPKINS. I come here solely because they are beautiful, and are generous enough to share their beauty with us. Sure, some of them may use the site as an opportunity to search, and explore: just as I seem to recall that I was told Shane, from BSB1, is now happy and with a male partner. (And sorry, Shane, if I have misremembered, or gotten this wrong.)
But, if that is true: #1 - Would any of you BLAME a guy for taking this chance to explore? And, #2 - Does ANY of us think that MOST of the guys fit this pattern? Because, I could almost guarantee you, that most of them, do not. (It is hilarious, and perverse, to me, that on most of the European sites I have been a member of, legions of straight models are represented as being GAY, to gin up the clientele - and on most of the American sites I have been a member of, a significant number of gay models are represented as STRAIGHT: for just the same reason ;-)
(I think there is a significant difference in the European and the American ethos, in this regard - European gay guys seem very comfortable with homosexuality as an accomplished fact: and want to DATE the models, immediately! Whereas American guys, remembering their repressed youth, imagine that ANY goodlooking guy is BOUND to be straight from the beginning, and so need to go through extended torture-narratives of his being initially straight, and subsequently converted. As a Canadian, I just sort of sit in the middle, and say, "Hmmmm???")
The fact is, guys - about 94 percent of your favourite models are straight, on ANY site, whatever it claims: and they are there to pay the bills. They may suck, f***, or do a multitude of other things I am too shy to mention - - - but, at the end of the day, they're going home to SALLY or SHIRLEY - not US. About 6 or 7 per cent of them are gay, even though many of them are not always the ones we THINK are gay: often, they are the ones we never GUESSED, were gay. These are facts, that, as viewers of gay erotica, we just ought to come to GRIPS with.
Finally, this is my message: please, please, just let's be nice, and decent, to ALL of THEM. Yeah, most of them are straight, and some of them are gay, but they are all doing a really tough thing, sharing with us, here. Being a model on an erotic site is a tough decision, to say the least, and all of these guys are (at the least) in a FINANCIAL pinch. Sure, some of them are straight, and some of them are gay, obviously. But here is my little cri de coeur. . . .
JUST SUPPOSE there is a kid who IS really gay, and is struggling with it, and signs on with a site like Broke Straight Boys to explore, and figure things out. Does anyone really think he is really HELPED, when a legion of ancient gay men sign on to the board and say, "There is NO WAY he can be straight - because he did X! And Y!" Comments like that will only drive a boy like that DEEPER into the closet, and make him more miserable, than the day he arrived :-(((
AND, WHAT ABOUT the MAJORITY? The TRULY straight boys who have signed on with Broke Straight Boys, because they are truly financially strapped, and need a way to pay the bills? When THEY hear a legion of ancient gay men say, "There is NO WAY he can be straight - because he did X! And Y!": he is just going to want to quit, immediately: because, he is going to think, "I do not need this kind of stress, in my life." Furthermore, he is going to come away from this experience believing that all gay men are assholes ~ which I know we are not, but, reading some comments (far less on this board, than on others) it sure seems so, sometimes.
So, my sincere and impassioned plea, is this. Let's be KIND to the models, and treat them as WE wanted to be treated when WE were 21. Let's be good and supportive friends, and REFRAIN from speculating on their sexual preferences, let alone IMPUTING sexual preferences which they have denied to be theirs. That kind of jackassery is the perfect formula for driving models AWAY - not to mention, losing good friends :-(((
Of course, if a model shares, on here, that he is gay or bisexual, I know we would ALL rise to the challenge of supporting him. But. . . I should ALSO hope that, if I model says, on here, that he is so sad because his girlfriend has just left him - or so JOYFUL because his girlfriend has just told him she LOVES him: we would offer care, concern, or rejoicing with HIM, TOO, just as the occasion warrants.
Because, that is just what friends DO - isn't it??? For just about all MY life, gay people have been struggling to be accepted as who we are, without someone trying to change us - speculating about us, JUDGING us, or trying to CHANGE us. Now that things are FINALLY getting better, I think we owe our STRAIGHT friends (including the models we love) the same respect, and care.
Love,
"A" XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
P.S. The anthem, "I am what I am", is not just for gay boys - it is for straight boys, and straight women, and lesbians, and EVERYONE, to cherish, too. We should all love each other: just for being who we ARE. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&NR=1&v=KW-AxyBQ1kA
