Are they really straight?

[angelone]

Lets face it, anyone can say they're straight. But how does anyone know whether they really are? For some guys like myself this is a very important question. I have come to believe that Broke Straight Boys tries to get straight young men for the most part. I applaud them for their efforts. Even if the models are not what they say that they are, at least they put on a pretty good act pretending that they are straight and a virgin ass. I have no problem with this. But I still wonder what is it that makes a man straight? I have seen men go both ways but something in me tells me that this guy isn't gay, he may be gay friendly but he isn't gay! It is this "thing" that I will like people to comment on: how do you identify a man as straight even if he fucks other men?

 

[powabam]

Its what that man does in his personal life where there are no lights, camera, scripts, or getting paid for sex. It's what the man likes to do for free.

 

[erikthbod]

that's like people that say the are "Bi". There is really no such thing. No matter what a person says the have a preference. Thus the term "Bi" means nothing. Oh, crap I bet I get hate mail over this one.

 

[irish]

as andrew dice clay once said you eather suck did or you don't .

 

[peterh6308]

Well put A.D.C. and Irish!

 

[cum2me01]

I believe your sexual identity is what is done when there is no compensation involved. As for Bi, I think they just like sex and don't care who they are with as long as they feel satisfied.

 

[Ms. Kianna]

There are so many facets to this question, that it can and has been debated forever. You can bring into it, what turns someone on, not just what they will physically participate in, and keep going back and forth, and never agree on a conclusion.

I (just me) believe that the real answer is about who you can develop feelings for. Some people truly can have sex with anyone, but who can you fall in love with?

 

[KJNoble]

I believe that is who you prefer to have sex with. Straight men prefer the girls, but life in prison shows that they can and will have sex with guys. Gay guys prefer to have sex with men. And Bi guys just want to have as much sex as offten as possible and don't have a preferance.

 

[JohnnyG919]

that's like people that say the are "Bi". There is really no such thing. No matter what a person says the have a preference. Thus the term "Bi" means nothing. Oh, crap I bet I get hate mail over this one.

No hate mail, but I would have to disagree on this point. Once upon a time, I would have agreed with you hands down. Age and experience, it seems, have conspired against me. I don't disagree that most people have a preference, but I've met quite a few people in my day that seem to defy falling into one category or another.

I would argue that Kinsey basically had it right - that essentially everyone is 'bi' to some degree - most less so than others. On a scale of 1 to 6 most people tend to gravitate to one end of the scale or another. Cultural taboos tend to keep them there. But personal experiences, attitudes and circumstances can allow one to drift in one direction or another.

Keep in mind that I'm talking about sexual orientation - not sexual activity. Anyone can have a sexual experience that is not in keeping with their orientation. But even sexual orientation can drift a bit when taboos are shattered by personal experience and the relaxing of attitudes.

When I was younger, I tended to believe that sexual orientation was 'fixed' at birth - most likely genetically. As I've grown older and experienced more, I tend to believe that it's not so much 'fixed' as it is 'fluid', but with a predisposition - very similar to the way a person is born with a talent, but can develop that talent into a skill.

While most people do tend to gravitate in one direction or another, there are quite a few that lie basically in the middle - perhaps with a slight preference in one direction or another - but for all intents and purposes they are 'in the middle' or 'bi.'

Don't get me wrong. Calling ones self 'bi' is still a popular form of denial. But that fact that many gay men use it as a way to deny their sexuality doesn't mean that others don't fall squarely into that category. Personally, I tend to believe that there really is no such thing as 'straight' or 'gay' - only shades of 'bi'.

 

[balboa]

No hate mail, but I would have to disagree on this point. Once upon a time, I would have agreed with you hands down. Age and experience, it seems, have conspired against me. I don't disagree that most people have a preference, but I've met quite a few people in my day that seem to defy falling into one category or another.

I would argue that Kinsey basically had it right - that essentially everyone is 'bi' to some degree - most less so than others. On a scale of 1 to 6 most people tend to gravitate to one end of the scale or another. Cultural taboos tend to keep them there. But personal experiences, attitudes and circumstances can allow one to drift in one direction or another.

Keep in mind that I'm talking about sexual orientation - not sexual activity. Anyone can have a sexual experience that is not in keeping with their orientation. But even sexual orientation can drift a bit when taboos are shattered by personal experience and the relaxing of attitudes.

When I was younger, I tended to believe that sexual orientation was 'fixed' at birth - most likely genetically. As I've grown older and experienced more, I tend to believe that it's not so much 'fixed' as it is 'fluid', but with a predisposition - very similar to the way a person is born with a talent, but can develop that talent into a skill.

While most people do tend to gravitate in one direction or another, there are quite a few that lie basically in the middle - perhaps with a slight preference in one direction or another - but for all intents and purposes they are 'in the middle' or 'bi.'

Don't get me wrong. Calling ones self 'bi' is still a popular form of denial. But that fact that many gay men use it as a way to deny their sexuality doesn't mean that others don't fall squarely into that category. Personally, I tend to believe that there really is no such thing as 'straight' or 'gay' - only shades of 'bi'.

Funny, but I just watched a clip by Dan Savage who believes that bisexuality is basically a way station while a person discovers which they prefer or what their true orientation is. Or maybe they're trying to come to terms with being gay. He describes a lot of people he has known or heard of who were self-described bisexuals, years later went on to live lives of a str8 or gay person. In other words, it was a sexual purgatory for a time of exploration and discovery. I had never heard it explained in that way before, but it makes a lot of sense. I'm not saying this would apply to all bisexuals, but probably the majority.

 

[david367]

Genetics 101.... Okay, this is what I learned, and I thought well put by my professor in college genetics course, and which makes sense to me. Imagine a straight plane. At on end mark it 1, the other end mark it 10, and the middle mark it 5. At either end mark it 100% gay or straight and the opposite end mark it, let's say you marked 1 as 100% str8 (very masculine in all actions and features) then 10 would be 100% gay (the feminine acting males) 5 then would be what some would say are "bi". Now on that plane all of us fall some place in it some a 3-4 and others 7-8..(these are just examples of where someone might "fall) For me this makes sense. It explains the feminine gays guys and the masculine gay guys. It explains the guy that has not and would not have a "gay" experience at all and those that would lean towards "experimenting" with a guy. It explains where we fall on that plane who calls themselves "tops" and who calls themselves "bottoms". Orientation is a genetic in-born trait. We find this in nature with animals as well as with humans. The "X" and the "Y" chromosomes carries all this information. Some have "XXY" or "XYY" which explains why some males go through at transformation of a sex change and some females to males. I found my genetics class to be one of my most interesting classes to understand why I am, who I am. Hope I explained it well. You can agree or disagree, but I thought my professor explained it well and it made sense to me....

 

[Rob_Ryder]

It is this "thing" that I will like people to comment on: how do you identify a man as straight even if he fucks other men?

This is a great topic and an even better question. After being around so many "gay-for-pay" models, I have met my fair share of guys that say they are straight and they fall into these categories:

- They really are straight and you can tell just be their non-verbals and a general aura they have about them that screams, "I am totally comfortable enough knowing that I am straight without having to try and prove it."

- There are the guys that say they are straight and try as hard as possible to act in what they feel would prove to everyone that they aren't gay lol. These end up being the guys that are gay or at very least bi-sexual, but scared to accept/embrace that fact.

- Then finally, there are the guys that you really can't tell. Not in the metrosexual way, but a much more subtle thing about them that really makes it difficult to label them as either or.

For me personally, I have run across this issue seeing as how I do gay porn. If someone knows me first, then watches my porn, they say it seems like two different people because I am not what people would call gay based on my actions, etc. Now if someone saw my porn first, then meets me, it's hard for them to accept the fact that I am not gay until they hang out with me for awhile. Just because my porn scenes created this image in their heads of this little blonde guy that loves dick LOL. . .

I think the only real way to judge is not by watching their edited scenes, but things like BTS and meeting them in person I think makes it very clear.

 

[Rob_Ryder]

as andrew dice clay once said you eather suck did or you don't .

hahahahaha, that might have to be my new favorite quote

 

[Rob_Ryder]

I believe your sexual identity is what is done when there is no compensation involved. As for Bi, I think they just like sex and don't care who they are with as long as they feel satisfied.

That's exactly how I respond to the question. Once people find out I do gay porn, they say "Oh, so you're bi then, right?" My response is always along these lines:

"I don't have sex with guys off camera lol. If that's bisexual then yes I am bi"

haha

 

[Rob_Ryder]

I'm intrigued by all the responses to this thread! I think that I pretty much agree with what everyone's response is. The very very basic answer I would say is the idea of what a person prefers when there is no external motivating factor involved (i.e. money)

 

[jtdestin]

Its funny I spent 1/4 of my adult life straight married happy for the most part..
2nd 1/4 got divorced still happy and friends with the ex but experimenting with guys still enjoying life and considered myself straight but free.. 3rd 1/4 saying I am bi sexual
and now… I say do what you enjoy my.. partner/soon to be husband who is younger by half my age tells me there is no such thing as gay, bi or straight its what you are comfortable with.
I have my own twist on things I think ones life dictates how one finds his sexual being
Mine were events that just led me down a path of discovering myself no traumatic events (over bearing mothers or abusive males in my life just random happenings) falling for my H.S. sweetheart getting married have a son falling out of love getting divorced. Going to a Dead concert smoking some good weed and having great m/m sex for the first time In my hotel room (sorry early 90s no flowered vans) than almost a year goes by and I was hit on at the beach by a spring breaker guy and so on and so on after 6 or 7 years I was primarily 90% into guys. Now I am 100% into one guy. Call me gay that’s fine or Bi I am ok with that (call me a fagot your going home in a cast) its what one likes and who one loves that make the person. Having sex feels good with who ever (male or female) your with and it only lasts so long the part that makes it great is the person your with when the sex is finished.

jt

 

[balboa]

Now if someone saw my porn first, then meets me, it's hard for them to accept the fact that I am not gay until they hang out with me for awhile. Just because my porn scenes created this image in their heads of this little blonde guy that loves dick LOL. . .

Rob, so glad for your take on this. I just re-joined College Dudes and even though I have a sizeable collection of the site's vids, I didn't have any of you. So I made it my business do D/L almost all of them. I just watched your flip/flop with Mick Hanson, and will watch the others.

But my question is, altho you're str8, can you equivocally say without a doubt that you DON'T enjoy the sex? If you do, what exactly DO you enjoy (bj, rimming, etc.)? I'm just trying to get into the mind of a g4p model. While money is certainly a motivator, is it also an aphrodisiac?

 

[JohnnyG919]

@David367
I agree with everything you said. That's a great explanation for the biological predisposition that I spoke of. However, the one thing that's a little different (in my experience) is that, despite that predisposition, many people can (and do) drift a little bit in one direction or the other based on their own personal experiences and attitudes. Not usually too far - but some.

As taboos break down and people are exposed to experiences that are different from their personal norm, they frequently find that predisposition isn't as rigid as they once thought.

 

[JohnnyG919]

Funny, but I just watched a clip by Dan Savage who believes that bisexuality is basically a way station while a person discovers which they prefer or what their true orientation is. Or maybe they're trying to come to terms with being gay. He describes a lot of people he has known or heard of who were self-described bisexuals, years later went on to live lives of a str8 or gay person. In other words, it was a sexual purgatory for a time of exploration and discovery. I had never heard it explained in that way before, but it makes a lot of sense. I'm not saying this would apply to all bisexuals, but probably the majority.

There are definitely people who fall into this category (quite a few actually), but to say the majority of self-identified bisexual people fall within it is, in a word, naive. I'm sure that Dan is making this statement from his own experience, and I would have agreed with him at one point in my life. No longer. My own experiences have taught me that sexuality may be mostly set, but is more fluid than most care to admit.

Like most things, the degree of that fluidity varies from person to person and depends on a number of factors - such as personal experiences, circumstances, attitudes, etc. I'm not saying that each person doesn't tend toward one direction or the other. I'm only saying that it's not black & white, gay or straight, this or that. There are degrees in between and where you fall on the scale can change over time. It doesn't for everyone, but it can.

 

[JohnnyG919]

But my question is, altho you're str8, can you equivocally say without a doubt that you DON'T enjoy the sex? If you do, what exactly DO you enjoy (bj, rimming, etc.)? I'm just trying to get into the mind of a g4p model. While money is certainly a motivator, is it also an aphrodisiac?

This is actually another very interesting question. Do you think that a person can't have gay sex and still be totally straight? Do you think that enjoyment of the sex is what makes a person gay/str8 or is it something totally separate?

I personally believe that the reason many people get so confused about whether they're gay or straight is because we have so many different ideas of what gay/straight actually is. Discuss.